Shedding Familial Traditions to Cultivate My Own Dharma

Within the tapestry of Eastern philosophies, the concept of Ikigai — 生き甲斐, or WHAT IT’S WORTH LIVING FOR, resonates deeply with my journey. It speaks of the interconnectedness of all things, a harmonious whole woven from seemingly disparate threads that we experience when we follow our real nature and pursue our real purpose in life, according to our values, principles, and beliefs.

Yet, my path to IKIGAI wasn’t a seamless inheritance, but rather a deliberate untangling of the threads I received from my family. As a liberal Buddhist priest residing far from the land of my birth, I find myself an outsider in many ways, particularly when compared to the traditions of my Italian Catholic upbringing.

My parents, steeped in their heritage’s rich, conservative Catholicism, tried to instil a deep sense of entitlement, ritual, and devotion in me. Sundays were a symphony of mass bells and incense, punctuated by family meals brimming with conversation and lively debates on cultural topics. Food was an expression of wealth and love, a language spoken fluently as plates piled high with pasta dishes and glasses overflowed with tasty wines. Social gatherings were often boisterous affairs, fueled by laughter, animated conversations, and the suffocating haze of cigarette smoke.